A Full Dance Card at The Milonga

Please remember, dear reader, love, that these musings are merely one woman's perspective on her own individual journey Down The Rabbit Hole of Argentine Tango.

Feel free to disagree. I simply ask that you return to the embrace and resume the dance with me when the dust of our possible disagreement has settled.

In our culture of one-man, one-woman, monogamous love, we contract our hearts and keep them small enough to focus all the Love in the Universe onto one individual.

We pretend we do not notice others who are just as worthy of our love as the one we call “Dearest.” In the eyes of The Divine there is none more deserving than another to receive Love.

Divine Love is too grand to belong only to one other person, but we don’t trust ourselves to Love Everyone because that could mean we end up hurt, or alone at the end of the day.

It could mean that we suffer more than if we did not choose love at all.

The suffering in the world is so much that we might weep at the end of the day, knowing there is hunger, loss, pain in the hearts of our fellow man, and that we must ultimately simply witness from a distance.

Even when Divine Love springs us into action as volunteers, organizers, activists, we might still feel despair, knowing that our efforts are like using a stick of chewed bubble gum to plug a leak in the Hoover dam.

Love cracks us open at our center as we surrender to its unrelenting call.

Divine Love is too big to be contained by one woman, or one man, and often the sage dines alone, knowing that most any partner they meet would want to be ALL to them; which is not possible.

When we expand our hearts to encompass the world, the idea of loving just one person might seem as infantile as loving only one of our children when we have more.

Even with this knowing, I have a sense of longing to be “the one” for the “perfect partner,” and I witness this desire much the same way as I witness a child’s desire become Superman, fly through the air and have X-ray vision.

Maturity has shown me that it is a fantasy, which leaves me feeling unrequited.

There is a sense of melancholy I feel in this moment. I want to get up and Tango with a well-fitting partner so I can go the space of awareness that is ONE with all there is.

I understand that the sense of separation is an illusion, and that I can go to that PLACE IN MY MIND WHENEVER I CHOOSE, BUT HAVING THE PHYSICAL CONNECTION helps facilitate the experience, because, from my perspective, it creates an all quadrant meditation.

I am surprised by tears, which are part of letting go of a childish fantasy I once had of love. I am now called by a deeper connection, which tells me there is no “one” when there is only ONE.

I am profoundly grateful for Tango Argentine, my new teacher about life and love and letting go.